The 2013 Tax Year Tax Dirge: Don’t Fine Me, Bro!

Or, All I really want to do….is claim you as a dependent.

The reason for the tax dirge:

The tax dirge is perfect music for seeking lost bits of paper, Googling tax code minutiae (and isn’t it all minutiae?)…and for holding your breath until your accountant calls and says you're getting a refund, or a bigger refund than expected....or until you enter all the numbers into Turbo Tax and the amount "overpaid" comes up positive.  On the other hand, it's good music to drown your sorrows when you see there is no way in H-E Double toothpicks you're getting a refund...in fact, you may have to sell your house to pay your bill!!

To be honest, many times the songs in the annual playlist known as the Tax Dirge aren't evocative of those feelings viz their music or lyrics; many times the title just, well, fits.

As usual, the Dirge features songs of all or most song types.  This one includes reggae, hip-hop, opera, 70s punk, folk and country.  And 2014 sees the debut of Mr. Marshall Mathers on the Dirge with not 1 but 2 selections from "The Eminem Show".

We end as usual with the Mother of All Tax Dirge Songs, "Taxman", written and performed mostly by George Harrison....the Grumpy Beatle[1].  If you're singing along to the finale this year, and wondering what to put in place of the descant, "Uh-uh, Mr. Wilson; Uh-uh, Mr. Heath", then "Uh-uh, Mr. Boehner, Uh-uh, Mr. O" works pretty good.  Unless you're Canadian, in which case you have a couple of weeks to figure out how to fit Messrs. Harper and Mulcair in the song in a rhythmic and clever way, eh.

Happy dirging, taxpayers!

1) Collect Underwear; 2) ? 3) Make profit

One of my favorite South Park episodes is about the Underwear Gnomes.  It is also about Rob Reiner as a prototype of Mayor Bloomberg, going around trying to force people to stop smoking, and that's a funny plot, but the subplot is funnier.

Emergency Meeting of the Steering Committee of the Evil, Woman Hating,Child Beating, Racist Conservatives

(We are in a large conference room with one of those long tables that look like real wood.  There are about eight men, one of whom (LEAD MAN) is standing at the back of the room in front of a screen, fourteen of whom are mumbling to each other about stocks.  The director can have more men around the table, but be sure to let people know there are only 8 speaking roles. Truth in advertising and all that.)

LEAD MAN: I'm sure you'd all like to know why I called you here to this emergency meeting.  I'm here to tell you, boys, that we are dying in the media.

(One man shoots his hand up in the air)

GUY #1:  "Is it because Rush Limbaugh called someone a slut?"
(concerned murmurs all around)