The Queen of Michigan and Thought Crime

Yesterday at work, I was privileged to be able to sit with someone in their grief.

What Government has joined........

Whenever I hear my conservative friends talk about "traditional marriage", and the need for a "traditional marriage amendment",  I react in one of several different ways:  Looking over my glasses and saying "Really?", running screaming from the room, putting my fingers in both ears, and grabbing shoulders, shaking them, saying: "Do you hear what you're saying?????  You're saying, 'Congress, stay out of my business!'  'Mr. President, stay out of my gun case!', 'Government, stay out of my pocket!' 'Government, please regulate marriage!' It makes you sound very silly."

Emergency Meeting of the Steering Committee of the Evil, Woman Hating,Child Beating, Racist Conservatives

(We are in a large conference room with one of those long tables that look like real wood.  There are about eight men, one of whom (LEAD MAN) is standing at the back of the room in front of a screen, fourteen of whom are mumbling to each other about stocks.  The director can have more men around the table, but be sure to let people know there are only 8 speaking roles. Truth in advertising and all that.)

LEAD MAN: I'm sure you'd all like to know why I called you here to this emergency meeting.  I'm here to tell you, boys, that we are dying in the media.

(One man shoots his hand up in the air)

GUY #1:  "Is it because Rush Limbaugh called someone a slut?"
(concerned murmurs all around)