Saturday, September 12, 2015

The Story of a Campaign

Part 1:  The Debate

Mr. Jones:  I will give you more free stuff!  All free stuff for all!
President Miller:  But I will continue cutting your taxes so you won't have to pay for stuff!
Debate attendee:  Well, what do you think?
Another debate attendee:  Well I like President Miller--but we could sure use some free stuff!

Signs:  "Elect Jones!"  "More free stuff NOW!"  "I deserve FREE STUFF!"  "Re-elect Miller!"  "Balance the budget!  Re-elect Miller!"

Part Two:  The Pundits 
Jimmy Falon: So hey, what about this Jones guy?  He's got a lot of charisma but can he beat Miller?
Political Pundit looking suspiciously like Lea Michelle: Well, you know, he's got a powerful message, "Free stuff, free stuff, free stuff!"  It's gonna be hard for Miller to find something the voters really want.  And I think that they want free stuff most of all; don't you, Jimmy?

Part 3a:  January 21, if  one guy wins:

"I know I promised you free stuff, but when I came here and saw all the damage the Miller adminhistration had done, I realized that we just couldn't do it."
Part 3b:  If the other guy wins:

"Yes, I did promise to reduce the debt, but none of us anticipated the Ben and Jerry collapse...what a tragedy for our fellow citizens in Vermont.  And of course we never could have predicted the big snowstorm at Christmas.  I thik it's clear, we need to give away more FREE STUFF!!!!!!"