Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Ode to the Birds Who, Until Yesterday, Were Thriving Atop My Exterior Light

(Disclaimer:  this post has nothing to do with anarchocapitalism, libertarianism, or why it's useless to vote this November for president even if you're not an anarchist.  Sometimes, I just has to writes.)

The nest was empty.

I had heard a crow caw, and thought, oh my God, the babies.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Congratulations! You bought gold!!!

Yes, that's right!  Now that the nuclear, post-rapture, post Mayan calender, or global warming apocolypse is here, aren't you glad you invested your life savings in  precious metal?  Not for you the volatile mutual funds market, or insecure stocks; now that there isn't an operating government on the globe, you can hold your head up high knowing you didn't put all your eggs in national currencies or government bonds. No, sir or ma'am!  You planned well!  You win the prepper sweepstakes!  Like your neighbors,  you built a fallout shelter, stocked it with the Alex Jones recommended Vita-Life freeze dried foods which all taste like the brown sauce in frozen Chinese food,  in space-saving little ziplock bags.  You stocked a lot of water.  You learned how to rig garbage bags to a wooden seat to replace your toilet.  You have an emergency radio which only runs for three minutes if you turn  the crank for fifteen minutes...but, oh well, it's not picking up anything yet, anyway (surely all the ham radio operators are waiting till the fallout/flooding from the melted icecaps/Mayan dancing men subside(s) to start creating the new post-world radio network).