Sunday, August 21, 2005

Oh my God....they killed Kenny! and Holly! and Suzy! and .....

I had a dream.

I dreamt that Trey Parker and Matt Stone used antichoice superhero Dianysis, seen here depriving people of their choice to express their opinions (and their choice to live----ex-utero, incidentally)

in a really cool episode of South Park! And lo, it was funny. Especially when Kyle said, "But Dianysis, how come young kids like us have to have sex? Don't you guys at Planned Parenthood Golden Gate just want us to keep having sex so you can sell more birth control and testing to us? Like the Calypte HIV test, of which you, yourself, Dianysis, recently owned 200,000 shares of stock?" (tip from Dawn Eden)

And when Stan's Uncle Jimbo said "I have sex all the time and see? I'm just fine!" and everyone gets really quiet and his friend  says "Hmm...maybe celibacy isn't such a bad idea after all."

And when little Wendy tugs on Dianysis sleeve and says, "Dianysis...Dianysis..have you seen my friend Holly Patterson? I haven't seen her since you sold her that RU-486 pill. She didn't want to tell her dad coz she was afraid, but he was so worried about her. You told her to just go home and not say anything and she'd be fine."

(Holly Patterson died September 17, 2003 from medication given by Planned Parenthood Golden Gate after succumbing to side effects the FDA has been since criticized for ignoring; Holly's family says Golden Gate's president----"Dianysis" in the Planned Parenthood infamous cartoon---has done nothing to help them).

Dianysis (ignoring her) "Don't you kids all want Teenage safe sex kits?" and most of the kids yell "I do! I do!" and she throws out a bunch of little blue kits.

"Sweet," says Cartman. "Astroglide! That's what my MATURE friends online tell me kids need for anal sex."

"What's anal sex?" says Butters.

"CARTMAN!!! What the hell are you talking about? You don't want anal sex!" Kyle shouts!

"Of course he does!"Says Dianysis. "Don't all young boys?"

"Lady,you're nuts," says Stan.

"Anal sex is MATURE sex." says Cartman. Stan whispers something to Cartman, and Cartman throws his "safe sex" kit in the air, Astroglide and all. He backs away from Dianysis. "Keep away from me with your God damn Astroglide, Lady. Nobody's gonna put their ***** up my @ss."

Nobody noticed that Kyle stepped away, but he's returned with the Super Best Friends!
"Hello, Dianysis", Jesus greets her wearily. "Oh! We meet again, Jesus!" Dianysis answered nervously. "Mr. Smith, Buddha, Vishnu, Moses." They nodded in her direction, not amused. "Can you send her to hell?" Kyle asked Moses, hopefully. Moses spinned silently for awhile and replied, "Technically, this would be against the rules, but the SuperBest Friends have given Dianysis so many chances to leave children alone, and she keeps blowing them, maybe we can discuss this. Super Best Friends HUDDLE!"

Cut to scene of hell. Satan, clearly bored, is showing a weeping Dianysis around Hell. "Well, I guess you can have Chris's old room now that Saddam's killed him. I really miss Chris, but I'd probably always go back to Saddam anyway. Well, gnashing of teeth starts at 6, you don't wanna be late for that, wailing is pretty much whenever, you'll sorta get the hang of it. Oh. Try not to get on Pol Pot's bad side. Vindictive? You wouldn't BELIEVE! One wrong word and suddenly he's got the entire 5th, 6th and 7th circles pitted against you. Paranoid little devil, if you'll excuse the pun. Just avoid him, that's my advice......"

It was a great dream. Of course, it was just a dream, nothing Matt Stone and Trey Parker had anything to do with.

The South Park images herein are thanks to Comedy Central, Matt, Trey and the gang allowing folks to join their website and engage in fair use of their images. Dianysis is from a cartoon very recently in a blatant place on the Planned Parenthood Goldengate Website, in which she not only incinerated peaceful picketers with very odd "Christian" signs ("Pray for Thy Sins?" Who prays for sins? Dear Lord, I lift this sin up to you, please bless it and see it safely in its travels....), but kills and tortures other pro-life advocates. As blogger Dawn Eden points out, Dianysis sounds like the Greek god of debauchery, and looks like the name of the president of Planned Parenthood Golden Gate, Dian J. Harrison. In fact, the character even looks like Ms. Harrison, if you follow the links. Once complaints started coming in, according to Ms. Eden, PPGG pulled the cartoon from their homepage, but they still provide the link to it, for any thirteen year old to see.

1 comment :

Billy D said...

Great post! Awesome! I would pay good money to see the SP boys do a working over of that miserable bitc*. Oh, the raw hatred I have inside for Planned Parenthood, I could pop just thinking about it.