Wednesday, April 23, 2014

LIST OF MIGRAINE CURES THAT HAVE NEVER WORKED; but which I have feltcompelled to re-test long after I figured this out:

cold stuff on my head





Child Pose

More chocolate 


Fiorinal and beer


Magnesium supplements


Chocolate and peanut butter

Lemon filled Girl Scout cookies....

Hostess Lemon Pie

Anything from McDonalds

Peanut butter

Hot pepper sprinkled on anything

Graham crackers

Graham crackers and chocolate

Graham crackers and peanut butter covered in chocolate 

Graham crackers and peanut butter covered with chocolate, with beer.

Chocolate covered chocolate

Most opiates (although,  when I use them, I no longer care that I have a migraine)


Having a homeopath put their hand on my head and say, "Kelly's brain, please tell us if you are allergic to wheat.  ... It says you are."

Avoiding wheat


Downward Dog pose

Birth Control Pills



Chocolate covered midrin with or without beer

Rubbing my temples

Pressing on acupression trigger points (palm, base of thumb, big toe)

Lying on the floor with a tennis ball under a shoulder blade and rolling back and forth on it

Aromatherapy (are you kidding me??? Whose idea was this?  Why not just sit me in a field of pollen in bright sunshine next to speakers blaring Megadeath  and SHOOT ME!!!!??) 


The medication that Novartis did a run around the FDA with before their copyright expired, releasing an ineffective generic, then jacking up the price 

(and before you accuse me of whining for government  intervention, remember this:  the Feds came up with the idea of copyright IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!  "I know, let's have a law that keeps drug manufacturers from competing!  Who wants science to advance, anyway?")

Meds for high blood pressure (they work, but then I pass out in the middle of the Clinton campaign office in Ann Arbor, attracting an ambulance and all sorts of commotion.--Yes, I'm old.--  Or my pulse goes down to 10 in my doctor's office, prompting him to say "Well if it works so well, we can give you more and you'll never have a headache again....")

That dreamy part of sleep where you're not completely asleep but not quite awake.

Throwing up...but only if  I have to.  Self-determination is of little worth here.

Actually....Fiorinal and beer really did keep the pain at bay for a while.  Too bad I eventually realized I hate the taste of beer.

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