Sunday, March 10, 2013

Tax Dirge, or What I Did on My Payroll Tax Vacation

Each year I put together a song mix that gives me solace and a chance for catharsis as I do my taxes.  Here is the story of this years' list.

At the end of 2012, we were informed our “payroll tax holiday” was coming to an end.  What payroll tax holiday?  I didn’t know we were on a holiday, did you?  Well, then our first paychecks of the new year came around, and it became obvious that, if we weren’t on holiday before, it sure was over now.

Still, as I pull all my receipts and forms together, planning my little trip to a village near Pinckney with all of them to get “TAXES FROM HELL!” stamped on the envelope, I fondly remember those days last year when I got paid a little bit more.  And then I remember that that means I’m paying more in taxes, so it doesn’t matter.

Regardless this year I’m presenting a tax dirge that reflects that sentiment.  Listen to these songs as you work through that ritual that all working Americans share, and if you get too depressed, just remember:  the Canadians will have to do the same damn thing in May, and their taxes are higher.

1)      Viva la Vida---Coldplay  (if you don’t know why, here are some of the lyrics:  I used to rule the world/Seas would rise when I gave the word/Now in the morning I sleep alone/Sweep the streets I used to own)
2)      16 TonsTennessee Ernie Ford (“you load 16 tons, whatta ya get…” “About $785 a week after FICA is subtracted”)
3)      Spendin’ USA (to the tune of Surfin’ USA by the Beach Boys)[1]
4)      You Gotta Fight For Your Right to Party [Because it’s not like you can afford a $40,000 wedding)Beastie Boys
5)      Rollin in the Deep [pile of cash I got every two weeks before January]—Adele
6)      Darth Vader’s Theme from the Star Wars soundtrack (for reasons that will become obvious when you start listening to it)
7)      Stop! In the Name of Love [Before my Foreclosure]—The Supremes
8)      Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree With Anybody Else But Me (Because I want to be able to claim any dependents that come along)—Andrews Sisters
9)      April, Come She Will (whether we want it to or not) –Simon and Garfunkel
10)  Sitting in a Bathhouse on Avenue BGogol Bordello (no particular reason; just that everyone should hear Gogol Bordello at some point in their lives, and it might as well be now)
11)  Of course, the tax dirge song of all tax dirge songs, penned by the great George Harrison:
TaxmanThe Beatles

[1] If everybody had some money/across the USA/then everybody’d be spending/and loadin’ IRAs…..

No comments :