Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The Most Surprising, Stupid, Hilarious and/or Entertaining Things Said During the Presidential Campaign---Week of February 10-17, 2016

I can't look away.  It's like a train wreck.

So I've NEVER been more sure that it is an exercise in futility and one that makes me a conspirator with the State in oppressing people to vote.  And I haven't actually WATCHED a debate yet.  But when I hear descriptions of them on the podcasts & talk shows I listen to, or see it on Twitter, I laugh.  I laugh harder than I ever did watching any Monty Python movie.  In fact, the presidential least this one....has a lot of Monty Python flavor to it, although the end results will inevitably hurtle us closer to the edge of the totalitarian precipice.

I have two thoughts sifting through this stuff:

1) Are these people for real?


2) Ben Shapiro is right!  It's like professional wrestling!

I've even thought of a few names for some of the contenders that would work well in the ring fighting against Hulk Hogan or whoever took Jesse Ventura's place . We had this guy named Dick the Bruiser in Detroit.  He had a signature gravelly voice and used to always be in commercials on daytime TV saying, "Get down here [insert name of 1970s pro wrestling star/s here] and meet me! The Bruiser!  Here at Cobo Arena!  Coz I'm gonna take your skinny little torso and turn it into a pancake!"  

I can hear Hillary saying that to Bernie.

But that wouldn't work in my scheme, because I plan for Hilary and Bernie to be a tag team, called "The Hammer and Sickle."

So the Donald, whom I will call The Tower, can just yell it at Ted Cruz (Pastor Blaster).  The stuff he's yelling at him now isn't any more clever, I don't think.

So yes, I'm being highly entertained watching the antics of these Head of State wannabees.

And I thought I'd share with you some of the most entertaining quips I've heard lately, on the internets.

THE MOST SURPRISING, STUPID...THINGS SAID DURING THE CAMPAIGN (Week of February 10-17)  BY EACH CANDIDATE (In alphabetical order, with their KeBLOG! assigned pro-wrestling name REVEALED.

Jeb Bush (Pinky):  "Please clap."

Ben Carson (The Brain):  (To debate moderator, referring to some kind of meme about him sleeping):  "I was going to ask you to wake me up when the time came."  When, Ben?  What about 3:00 a.m.?

Hillary Clinton (The Hammer): " Arf!  Arf!  Arf!  You know."

Ted (Pastor Blaster) Cruz:  Marco, si quere dicelo ah-ah-ahorrra mismo dicelo ahora si quieres.  En espanol, si quieres.  (According to Huff Po, this translates as "Marco, if you want sa it ri-ri-right now, say it now if you want.  In Spanish if you want."  vox is a lot more gnenreous, translating it "That's how you want it?  Right now, say it--in Spanish if yuo want."  Which BTW is very VERY WWF.  "You wanna speak Spanish with ME?  Come on down to Cobo Arena on Saturday night, and you can meet my two Spanish speaking fists!")

John "The Buckeye" Kasich:  "I gotta Tell you.  This is just crazy, huh?  This is just nuts.  Okay.  Oh, man."  

Marco "Mad Cuban" Rubio:  (Referring to a supporter who shouted "waterboard Hillary!" at a rally)  "I don't want to know what he said--please don't because then--whatever-the press is here."  

Bernie Sanders (half of the Hammer & Sickle tag team):  We don't do what the Republicans want which is cut social security!    (sigh, if ONLY!)

Donald "Tower" Trump :  Planned Parenthood does wonderful things, but not as it relates to abortion.

(So in other words as it relates to...absolutely nothing they do)

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